"you don't GO to church, you ARE the church"

what does that statement make you think of when you read it? do you just say, "well, duh!", or do you say, "what are you talking about?"

a song

my good friend in texas who now is the pulpit minister at the church we attended until we moved to l.a. used to lead this song for the youth group and for the congregation. it is just so cool, and refreshing.

have any of you out there heard of it, sung it? i really like it. i was just sitting here and it popped into my head.

i lift my eyes up

i lift my eyes up to the mountains
where does my help come from
my help comes from You
maker of heaven creator of the earth
(repeat)

oh how i need You Lord
You are my only hope
You are my only prayer
so i will wait for You
to come and rescue me
come and give me life
(repeat)

i lift my eyes up to the mountains
where does my help come from

2005 Darwin Awards

Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here then, are the glorious winners.

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked..... And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his Vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer..$15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)

7. A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled, "FREEZE, MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A F***-UP!" For a moment, everyone was silent. Then the snickers started. The security guard completely lost it and doubled over laughing. It probably saved his life, because he'd been about to draw his gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired before the thief got him. The thief ran away and is still at large. In memory of the event, the banker later put a plaque on the wall engraved with the words, "Freeze, mother-stickers, this is a ****-up!"

8. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder-block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder-block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder-block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

9. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

10. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

And, last but not least, THE 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!

11. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

tea

how do you take it; sweet, nonsweet, or not at all?

my vote is for not at all.

let's here from the masses out there. how do you take your tea?

if you're like me, what do you drink in its place? i go for dr pepper.

have you ever tried to do something all day, but it just kept laughing at you?

well, i have spent the last couple of hours trying to update my "about me" section here. i have cropped a pic that i want to use, but i can't find where i need to add it so that it shows up on the blog. can anybody give me a hand here? i have gotten far enough to have my pic show on my profile thanks to jd, a friend from mississippi. thanks jd! i guess i still need some advice.

i am sitting here enjoying the braves game. who would've thought a 46 yearold guy could still contribute the way julio is for the braves? a grand slam pinch hit homerun last night, and a triple tonight. awesome.

i got the great opportunity to watch the braves beat the rangers in arlington while i was there recently to be with my wife as she attended a funeral of a former co-worker. we used to live there in arlington, and i got to throw peanuts to customers when i worked there at the ballpark in arlington the season that the rangers hosted the allstar game. that was a cool season.

we sure do miss all our "family" there in arlington, but we are here now in l.a., and are getting to know our other family members.

ok, you're really from the south if you can answer this question. what is "kudzu", and what does it do, and what was done to get rid of it? that should keep you busy. i'll be checkin' back to see if you have figured it out.

well i guess you gotta start somewhere.

i don't know where this blog will go. it may die a virtual death next week like some good blogs have done in the past. however, i will give it the ole college try, even though i have never gone to college.

well, i guess i need to start by just saying what has been going one here in the recent past of my life here.

just this past weekend i got a great opportunity to go to hotlanta with the youth group, the youth minister, and another fellow parent. we spent friday and saturday at six flags. i enjoyed the trip eventhough my youth minister, cl, did not have the most enjoyable time. he would say that the weekend was not about him though, but about his kids having the good time, and they did. thanks for the pizza cl.

i got the chance to ride some rides that were not there when i was last there when i was 12. that was twennie sumthin years ago. but i must say that riding on the front row of the batman ride was really cool!!! even lawson, seth, and ashley thought so, (they were on the same car as i was). the superman ride had to be the second best, eventhough i about got into it with the attendant wanting me to take my sunglasses off. i told her that i would be fine, but she said that it was required. hey, my contacts were a requirement, too, and they would've been way to dry for me to see out of if i did not have a "windshield" in front of them.

the weekend was great, because faulkner university fed us a free lunch, too, on friday. we even got to see cornerstone. cournerstone is the male quartet from faulkner. one of the kids that went to church with my parents at ft. payne is now one of the dudes in the group. steve freeman. i got to see his parents again, since they were there, too; stan and kathy. stan used to be the preacher there, too, at ft. payne, but he has moved onto attalla, just a stone's throw away.

we even got free ice cream after the cornerstone concert. what a good deal!!

now, for the good news. i am blessed to be selected to lead the first life group that has multiplied from the larger life group that i have been attending with my wife. please pray with me, and the members of my life group that we will be blessed and filled with whatever God wants for us to get out of this life group. there is one man who has already been changed by being selected to be in this life group. i will not say who he is because the change is so great and it was not what he was looking for. another victim of a hit and stick blessing.

well, i would appreciate your comments, and i will be talkin' atcha again real soon. right now i'm fixin' to go to bed.

take care, and may God bless you more than He has me!